Texas Chick, Wife of a Texas MAN, and best of all a Mom.
#fallsongs that pumpkin carving is a work of art, I got the kit at walmart, and I know now that I should have layed down a towel.#fallsongs u look so scary standing there in my michael myers underwear and I know now that I'm dressed as a clown!#fallsongs my pumpkin latte brings all the boys to the yard and they're like my fall decor is better than urs damn right its better than urs#fallsongs it's pumpkin season, pumpkin season, @jimmyfallon thinks he is so cool, riding around with the bed of his truck full!#fallsongs The temp is falling, leaves we will be hauling, soon we set our clocks back an hour, hoping our pumpkin spice latte doesn't sour
#MyWeirdFriend makes me answer every yes or no question with "yes ma'am or no ma'am" did I mention she is 4 years old!!
@petewentz my niece Caitlyn had a blast tonight! #MONUMENTOUR # her1stconcert@petewentz almost time for fallout boy to take the stage! my niece Caitlyn is going to freak out!#MONUMENTOUR@petewentz my niece Caitlyn is in the audience waiting for u! She would freak if u tweeted to her! http://t.co/x9EkYYwQg2@petewentz my niece Caitlyn is in the audience and can't wait for u to take the stage!!!!!!!#MONUMENTOUR
My step sister hit me in the head with an ashtray because I was folding her laundry! I woke up and all the laundry was folded! #MyDumbFight
@blakeshelton What does a drunk walrus and ladies at a Tupperware party have in common?
@blakeshelton What does a drunk walrus have in common with a woman at a Tupperware party?
The time my sister's ex-boyfriend sent her a letter from prison that said " I think we should start seeing other people"! #awkwardbreakup
My toilet flushes,do you wanna go back to my room? #OlympicPickupLines
@blakeshelton sometimes u should drink water to surprise ur liver!
U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A.! #BOSTON
I never knew @gin_wigmore existed until tonight- SHE JAMS!!!!
I want @KeithUrban to call me baby!
Win a 2013 Chevy Tahoe! http://t.co/vzzV4L1U
Praying for the students at Lone Star College in Houston.
@JJWatt doesn't flush toilets, he scares the sh*t out of them!!!
@AnaQooks "ur best work was done on ur back" caught me off gaurd, I am still laughing!!!:)
@DJPaulyD @VINNYGUADAGNINO @snooki @JENNIWOWW im sad! Gonna miss u sick twisted f*ckers!#compliment #lastjerzday@tatestevensctry are u still gonba throw a big party!!! #richredneck #tatenation@tatestevensctry you are about to be a rich redneck!! #tatenation@tatestevensctry are u ready to be a millionaire? #tatenation
@BravoAndy are u & Jason still having issues with ur success?
@TheEllenShow Oh Christmas Tree, oh Christmas Tree, why must u run my light bill up?
@TheEllenShow in the darkness & silence the only question that remains is "Who farted?"
I am THANKFUL for my family, my friends, laughter, love, kindness, every breath I take, & every smile I put on someones face.
I think "silly" is a silly word!:)
@TheEllenShow "I heard it through the grape vine". When did grapes start spreading rumors?
@crabwizard u blew the competition out of the water this season!
@crabwizard did u ever give up nicotine or is ur calendar covered in ants? :)
@blakeshelton do u have a tape worm? U know ur supposed to rinse pork b4 u cook it! Lmao
@danecook why r u getting all "fillasockful" now? Lol get it?
@snooki at both places u had to watch ur back side! Lol
@KhloeKardashian happy birthday!