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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

trust fall

865 Following   2,118 Followers   6,679 Tweets

Join Twitter 3/9/09

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If u want to donate directly to a Detroit resident's water bill, this is where u can do it! http://t.co/LXKzxL9BbQ #DetroitWatera swear jar, but for the word 'content'
Retweeted by Erin Markey@TheeIrishHorse tell your friend there's a ch-ch-ch-chippendale (rescue ranger)If u were a stripper and I put a sand dollar in your g-string would u be able to retire off that
7/22
2014
So honored to be able to turn hard feelings into salty water. I never asked to be a 21st Century Jesus but here I am.Hashtag Dana OwensI think @Lavernecox should be the new @theviewtv co-host! #theview #newhost #equality
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyIf the camera loves me she should just say so or walk. Oh, my bad, cameras CAN'T walk.Lets all take a moment of silence to feel embarrassed.
7/21
2014
@apetickler @amateurgourmet thanks!@amateurgourmet thank youuuu@amateurgourmet i had awesome malaysian food in australia, and i'm trying to find a website that has good malaysian recipes. any recs?
7/18
2014
Wooden Box Blues by Becca Blackwell@billycheer i disagree with analysis you. YOU ARE THE BRANDIEST HUMAN I'VE EVER MET.@ColeEscola :(there is not enough @Morgangould on twitter@ErinMarkey Erin is making me tweet #transfatual
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyI am selling cystic pimples for a limited time on my website white house dot gov
7/17
2014
@jeremyoharris @leahnanako @teddynicholas I thought by rn you meant nurse and I got excited cause I thought it was about wage equalityjust released some goooood seats for my show tonight @JoesPub w/ @kennymellman. come if you think people matter! http://t.co/1guvCWpUFwGreat night tonight--@WeAreBombadil hits the stage @ 7:30PM / @ErinMarkey at 9:30PM!
Retweeted by Erin Markey@tylercoates that's extra@tylercoates what makes you think i wouldn't want to watch you eat steak while I sing foolish games
7/16
2014
Honored that Google suspects me as a person who wants constant Bridge to Terabithia updates
7/15
2014
If a mom n pop store isn't open 24/7 I don't feel comfortable supporting it
7/14
2014
How many jokes do I have to make about advil before people realize being funny is how I am able to receive MedicaidIf u r against flip flops get out of my life. -santa"No one thinks it's a bathing suit but you.""Tell me about the first time you lost your virginity"
7/13
2014
#renditionsDo u guys think "shikoonk" is a good way to spell a timecard punch noise? Asking for a friend named My Lover.supermoon bitcoin
7/12
2014
Eating chips is making me want chips really badAlmond butter jar full of ketel #jarservice
7/11
2014
Happening now: Detroit activists arrested for blockading trucks that disconnect people's water http://t.co/WIOO8wyN8G http://t.co/QX8GqYQvi6
Retweeted by Erin Markeymy best friend's name is Emmy Snubs and we have fooled around.
7/10
2014
can new versions of Java just chill the eff outThere's no shortage of shows to check out at @JoesPub these days! Catch Erin Markey on 7/16: http://t.co/K7uzldcOGU
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyI heard there's a #GarthBrooks scandal going on right now in #Ireland. That can be hard and my heart goes out to everyone there.my YA Novel is called Shoddy Mortgages. Just kidding, It's called Chewable Homeopathic Jet Lag Pills. JK. It's called Erin, Plain and Tall.Our next show is July 16 @ 9:30pm at @JoesPub. Tix are still available & it's in a schweet @TimeOutNewYork listicle: http://t.co/D7bzzedhwL
7/9
2014
I miss the macarena so much. My mom was kind of a Michael Phelps in that arena. Would people let swimming fall off the charts into oblivion?I just watched a women's choir sing Nick Drake to an acoustic guitar and a rain stick in a hotel lobby in Tasmania and my life is different.
7/6
2014
pink elaphantitis of the bubbles #tbt https://t.co/Qslwfcwa6TWas told I went off-brand tonight when I talked about the cheese plate. But my father's father was a cheese plate so it's actually my legacyI'm in Tasmania with @kennymellman. He doesn't think I have rage. I say I do. WHO'S RIGHT? Only my tight-lipped hip flexors can say for sure
7/5
2014
Don't miss 2 DANGEROUS NEW YORKERS in #Hobart tonight as part of @KimDavidSmith #VOICEBOX @ErinMarkey & @JoeyAriasNYC #FOV2014 #GLOBAL
Retweeted by Erin Markey
7/4
2014
I'm mostly just relieved I'm not straight. Tmrw join my Relieved Parade that starts at Sbarro and ends at Victoria's Secret. #HashtagPhewLezzies is a cute name for a baby@AlisonEGurr thank youuuu@NOTCHRISTYLER i thought that's what i was doing already?
6/28
2014
Time for attending just 1 Pride event? Suggest Everybooty at @BAM_Brooklyn w/ @ErinMarkey @mxjustinVbond @Murray_Hill http://t.co/TWcOOrv8EY
Retweeted by Erin Markey
6/27
2014
at my fifth grade dance i stood next to a big bowl of Chicken McNuggets in the back while wearing pantyhose for the first time. #FIFA@JuliaWeldon @BAM_Brooklyn like-wize! let's knock headsThey Don't Smile At Me Unless They Want Me To Scan Something That's my new album on my new label: New York TempI bit @emilyemilydavis on the leg at the beach the other day and FIFA didn't care. #YesAllWomen
6/26
2014
i'm gonna be live tweeting the presidential debate in tee minus thirty seconds guys, need to cast candidates ASAP, send in headshots NOW@tylercoates yes, flattering now. looks like i'm freeing myself up. #empowerment@tylercoates if you could slip it into photoshop really quick and add a little more lip it's flatteringdo you think it's gross for a receptionist at a law firm to eat cold oatmeal out of a peanut butter jar in her bare feet? asking 4 a friend@comcomJo @HalfStraddle :( I hope the festival continues and that the workers get what they need."Big Baby: Mayor of Sillytown"--something me and my therapist discussed this morning. #politics #corruption@abrahamjoseph @tylercoates if Mrs. Doubtfire can make a sequel, so can we.
6/25
2014
Drinking @bridgeteverett 's old airplane bottle of Stoli Stiki in the basement of the Ace Hotel.@FeldmanAdam @tylercoates @NOTCHRISTYLER @colbykeller what if I told you my dick is made of one hundred percent peanut butter. Game changer?@FeldmanAdam @colbykeller I'm comped too so I guess me and Adam are gonna have to bro it out@mariebardi evan just said that same thing
6/23
2014
@FeldmanAdam @colbykeller #bornordained
6/22
2014
What if we all loved ourselves enough to put a Koala Kare diaper changing station in our bathrooms at home?
6/17
2014
your annual reminder from one of my fav father figurines, @ErinMarkey- BE THE #DADDYISSUES U WISH 2 C IN THE WORLD. https://t.co/gxft66KLKD
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyThe father of my adopted chihuahua has elected to spend the wknd at a Corey Feldman's Angels party in Atlantic City over his 5 yr old.
6/15
2014
Do u think "I fell out of my pants" conjures up the same kind of poetic feeling as "I fainted?" Doing some research.
6/14
2014
"Rita, who owns a yarn store, hooked us up." -Jules SklootJust got a letter from Santa saying sorry I forgot about you as an adult. I think he's making amends. Proud of him. http://t.co/elmKOHfnYJI took a bath with Whitney Houston last night and she told me all about what its like to be a famous pop lesbian. #bubblesJoin us at Spiegeltent on Aug 9 for cabaret comedy from 3 of #NYC's finest: @ErinMarkey, @JefferySelf & @ColeEscola! http://t.co/YKlftUZUgv
Retweeted by Erin Markey
6/13
2014
Scared to Google 24 karat gold crouton studs because I have a feeling I'm not the only aspiring jewelry designer who has ever had that idea.@ajlobster I never knew how to dream this dream which has now come true
6/11
2014
For one or two days a week I'd like a job kinda like Maggie Gyllenhaal had in the movie Secretary but without the SM/bondage stuff. LMK.PossumblyIn the made for TV movie about my life, I will play Christine Baranski in the episodes of The Good Wife I watch in my bed at night.
6/10
2014
@flavorwire @trishbendix I was just listening to "didn't we almost have it all" and thinkin bout Robyn Crawford A LOT
6/9
2014
Just won a Tony for chunkiest eyebrows. I love NYC!!@ErinMarkey !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE fresh wee wee pads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Just missed my bus stop typing "sweetass spirit of the indigo girls" into a text messageMy droid alerts me to how long it will take to get to what it has learned is "therapy" no less than 10 times a day. (Including holidays)2nite LILITH FAIRY @JoesPub benefit 4 @actupny amazing lineup: @ErinMarkey @NicholasGorham @msambermartin @brettevery @M_Lamar @billycheer
Retweeted by Erin Markey
6/8
2014
S-C-E-N-EMariah Carey's Heartbreaker is the #1 Song of All Time. also pretty sure I've been sucking my stomach in every moment since I was born.
6/7
2014
Benefit: @enidellen's "Lilith Fairy" at @JoesPub, a benefit for @actupny feat. @erinmarkey @msambermartin & more! - http://t.co/geHtetneu7
Retweeted by Erin Markey
6/5
2014
Who wants to try to get by me, the bouncer, with their fake ID?
6/4
2014
@ErinMarkey #ginI made you and I know how to break you. By you I mean me, and by me I mean moi. The French me. #tankiniWhat if I whispered the word crabcake into your ear?I'm so open right now. #basketball
6/2
2014
Sometimes candlelit yoga is a straight up savasaNO THANK YOU and its not the candle's fault. #CandlesRights
6/1
2014
Should I get an MFA or just spend the money building a time machine and go back to undergrad?
5/27
2014
Thank you half tables, for your service and your sacrifice. http://t.co/3fSHdHA4tD
5/25
2014
My neighbors are playing Tori Amos's a capella rape hit "Me and a Gun" right now
5/24
2014
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