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Erin Markey @ErinMarkey New York, NY

::a rat a tat tat:: @oneninehundredcake on instagram

979 Following   2,415 Followers   7,134 Tweets

Joined Twitter 3/9/09

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@AnthonyBLSmith keep the shrek jokes comin
6/28
2015
Since I did a hair and makeup tutorial on youtube™ i'm looking around this bus to see if anybody thinks i'm prettier than everyone@SawyerDeVuyst i think it's sold out. i didn't get crackin in time.i just fishtail braided the fuck out of my hair to celebrate my day of feeling every feeling you could and i'm looking for a house party
6/26
2015
In my dream I was told to write an article called "The Art of the Torture Joke." I'M ONTO ME.
6/25
2015
I too am a King of Tapas https://t.co/BRsdkmrlLbremember in 2011 when you got the flu so you watched bambi and it made it worse
6/17
2015
let the likes be your hot tub and turn on the bubbles, girli meant to type seamless dot com into my browser and i seriously started typing "fee fi fo fum"
6/16
2015
Will i be the first woman of my generation to name my child Hivemind
6/11
2015
never make eye contact with the strangers you are mad at@earbox @MildlyBitter if u wishI don't have it in me to argue with her. Tix: https://t.co/SP1vrrGlPD https://t.co/GelKxaiu42i feel like bullying gets a bad rap
6/10
2015
yogurt no es Jesus"I'll never have the body I had when I was a mime" -ellie, making salsa with a bag of frozen corn
6/7
2015
New show. Deleted Scenes From Fun Home. June 19th. Tix: https://t.co/Fvm4Y4uWMX http://t.co/wSJ0jrRzCJ
6/5
2015
@itswintermiller wait who is erin marki'm not afraid to give you this e-course
5/29
2015
sorry if my tye dye tee is too badass to look at in the eye@ErinMarkey sorry, meant to say Big #honkinpenisI like it when girls come up to me after I do "stand-up" It makes me feel like a very funny man with a big honkin penis@gossipbabies dat assOpenly day weeping to Caroline, or ChangeOne thing I love about a baby is how they are never thinking about having a baby. They are like awesome fat kings.@ErinMarkey http://t.co/2Ya5zrVG9C@ErinMarkey thumbing this out as I walk down the 'baking needs' aisle of the deliI have spent a lot of adult time adopting the attitude of a baby and there is hands down always a dude that fucks it up
5/28
2015
Great now there's foundation all over my touchscreenSmells like hay bales on mulberry againComedy is about boundaries! Find yours tonight @ Talk Hole http://t.co/6aWOCDoxmS
Retweeted by Erin Markey@Stagemaven @divarobbie @MildlyBitter there is a waitlist at info@elastic-city.org and i would bet you get in cause of summer fickles
5/27
2015
@AnthonyBLSmith @charleton tmrw night in chinatown at TALKHOLE.@bridgeteverett on The Bachelorette?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#Boston Tickets for #ThoughtBomb w/@comicnrrd @thutranthutran @ErinMarkey http://t.co/0pMSuBjjJs
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/26
2015
Williamsburg tinseltown https://t.co/qABtahJNgw
5/25
2015
Sorry to eat Tums™ in front of my friends who I thought loved me no matter what
5/24
2015
Fyi i'm a stand up comedian now https://t.co/CTMoqJL7Hwcoffeeshop's ipad just tried to autocorrect my email to "drunkard"
5/22
2015
My warm hair
5/19
2015
How bout a remake of Notes On A Scandal where @IAMQUEENLATIFAH plays Blanchett, @MileyCyrus plays student and @HillaryClinton plays DenchMy troof lives on instaonce I got heckled in the penn station public restrooms. She kept calling me Barbie and I just let her because I felt really seen.
5/18
2015
I have the bravery you have the patience or vice versa. Sorry to bring up Queen Latifah at a time like this.If I named my face spongebob would you wring it@tomleger you are not even going to be into anyone who still has an okcupid accounti can't find any blogs about how strategic and weird the mitt romney/ evander holyfield boxing match is HELP
5/17
2015
ur not that cute but ur willing to go there & that's what i'm attracted 2 could u ever <3 someone who puts marinara sauce on their nachostalking to toy developers abt creating board game called You Prioritize Drinking Over Me. worried board games won't fly w/ smartphone babies
5/16
2015
Do a-string-of-christmas-lights count as genitals yet or what?Shure mommy@sean_keady http://t.co/n3iNBSPWpS
5/15
2015
@sean_keady need u to be more specif.never forget the time your optometrist took an iphone video of your eyes to show his students your "eye bulge"
5/13
2015
i'm gonna name my kids LLC and 501c3 and just wait to see which one looks more like me
5/12
2015
@LogoTV when is drag race season finale? Trying to plan a thang so pretty desperate to know.@ErinMarkey he told me after we kissed that the difference between him and melissa joan hart was that her mom insisted on a producer credit@ErinMarkey no@ErinMarkey do u mean sam's ladderYes, I can confirm that I have made out with one cast member from Clarissa Explains It All.@Athens this tweet is from 5 years ago
5/11
2015
Art fair madness hits NYC.Seek shelter #ANTIFREEZE2 May 12 @ 7:30 w/ @ErinMarkey @CarmelitaTropi @Norauls @MacyRodman http://t.co/ZIiWspBVaL
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/8
2015
My baby carrots are soaked
5/5
2015
SAT 5/23 My new zine DOOR GIRLS is out! Having a reading at @BGSQD featuring @ErinMarkey @justnalln & @unevenkeeler: http://t.co/tIsAkHa8ki
Retweeted by Erin Markey
5/4
2015
I am in a very crowded dressing room and I deserve a special citation TONY for swallowing this many farts.
5/1
2015
TONIGHT!! Free!! @ErinMarkey @juliothesquare @annadrezen @dinosaurustessa and I! Don Pedro, 9 PM!! 90 Manhattan ave http://t.co/zjrmK2j2wV
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/29
2015
Old Yelper gonna getcha
4/28
2015
MAYDAY! Avant-Garde-Arama this Fri + Sat @AbronsArtsCtr! Niv Acosta on Fri. @ErinMarkey w/ Carmelita hosts! #OUTHERE https://t.co/Um0ayV3wkv
Retweeted by Erin Markey
4/27
2015
Shazam my plantars wart
4/26
2015
I think people like to just feel the word nepotism inside of their mouths. Prove that it makes you uncomfortable.
4/22
2015
On a scale of tribeca film festival open bar to michael cerveris as 'dad' in Fun Home, how is your day?
4/20
2015
me and @silasio followed up our Fun Home matinee with a times square starbucks toilet line gaybash. NOT TOO SHABBY.
4/18
2015
@TheMarthaMan desperately seeking graham crackerz on stage STATTrying to figure out how I can monetize my dog by changing nothing about either of our behaviors
4/16
2015
We'll be SWIMMING in Downtown darlings tmrw night for @biglar678's #LOOKBOOK benefit/auction! 930PM #fashion #frocks http://t.co/gWiZ8ZOFuu
Retweeted by Erin MarkeyIf you love meeting new people you'll love childbirth
4/14
2015
@perfectlildani jesus christ.I think i've always been interested in the erotics of extreme cuteness http://t.co/qgkN1dnAit
4/12
2015
Wasting away again in pashminaville
4/9
2015
If you're serious about being tired of skinny jeans I need you to show meme and a tallboy eating my birchbox sample
4/8
2015
The Personal is Professional TO QUOTE A SPIRAL NOTEBOOK FULL OF PROPHECY@AnthonyBLSmith suddenly seymour@AnthonyBLSmith woah why is the Americans everybody's oxygen tank@AnthonyBLSmith I dare u to send the pic u saw so I can feel pretty on easter@AnthonyBLSmith WELL not my first time hearing that.If u arent the mayor of your church on 4 square you need to hit your knees stat
4/5
2015
@ColeEscola why dont you just DJ your spotify and be a party pooper
4/4
2015
Chill out U r always going to seem like a kid to somebody older than u until there is no one older than you. Then u are Queen Of The Kids.@captaindingbat @billycheer deed i did@captaindingbat @billycheer yipFor me astrophysics is about the UM astrophysics prof who hired me as a research assistant and paid me to step on groceries in high heels@billycheer from a Wayne Koestenbaum story i'm reading right now http://t.co/OlyTd1KQ8e
4/3
2015
@PS122 can u ask vallejo to reply to my email. Tell him my promo pic from 2007 is in a magazine..@TimeOutNewYork top ten downtown cabaret performers....or...well you take a look ;) http://t.co/fyxkJ9ERaN
Retweeted by Erin Markey"If you don't think money talks you need to buy an expensive hearing aid" -Susan B Anthony
4/2
2015
Who wants to kickstart my new ceramic angels series called They Wouldn't Buy My Clothes Because My License ExpiredA list of companies who I support by offering them a one way Peter Pan bus ride to hell -Buffalo ExchangeLast night I picked up 8,000 followers just by tweeting the word speculum
3/27
2015
@JonRua yea god
3/26
2015
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