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Seattle. Princeton seminary grad 2008, straight ally of the gays, former Christian minister, now agnostic maybe? Proud uncle.

571 Following   246 Followers   7,804 Tweets

Join Twitter 10/27/10

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@KennethJack14 @rainnwilson I love wilson but you're right- why is he whispering in that damn commercial? Haha.
12/26
2014
@StuffCCLikes @justinjdean this is why Paul didn't like women speaking up- the men generally nod their head and follow the leaderπŸ˜‰@ProspectInsider me tooMerry X-mas everyone! I'm going to numb myself with catnip today. Thank fuck it's nearly over.
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinMerry Christmas from me and some of the cousins! http://t.co/MZLs4jMlgBPowerful message http://t.co/10kibe9WXt
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@Fascinatingpics there are trees in this pic- we don't know if Mars ever supported life.
12/25
2014
@talktoskirt THIS@talktoskirt that sucks. I exchanged gifts with someone important to me and their gift was random and cheap. I felt destroyed for an hour.* Watches Hunger Games* "Omg they're so brave for standing up to the government" *Ferguson Protests* "Ok, but there's no excuse to riot"
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinJames Spader in The Blacklist. Holy crap.
12/24
2014
@busylizards "how to trick criminals from the 16th century that havent heard a television"@OnTheBenchCBS not at allThe one cop in Home Alone that knocks 2x on the door and leaves. No wonder Kevin didn't ask the police for help.@mental_floss am I the only one turned on by the photo? 😜@busylizards lolKim Jung Un looks at the White House http://t.co/aQXSxT28ed
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@busylizards I mean what good is your summer sausage if it's not anal cavity safe?I want a job where I write the Twitter responses from companies to customers. Some of these clowns are amazing.Why do birds suddenly appear, everytime, you are near? Is it because you are Garuda, the bird god, in the shape of man, sent to destroy us?
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@GoodmanESPN @UW_MBB and seemingly coming out of nowhere- such a great coach.
12/23
2014
College basketball is a fickle mistress that rewards cheating coaches- but dang the Washington Huskies are fun to watch.@JoeVeyera Kemp is BALLIN out this year!@InsideAmazon I've got my resume with you guys- and recommendations for finding a job?Just got every hair on my body waxed off except eyebrows and head. I look like a naked mole rat. Men, come & get me if you're into rodents.
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinMy landlord, David Kazitzki, hasn't replaced a broken heater in 2 months. When I asked him about it he threatened to raise the rent 25%@busylizards Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―@Softykjr @dickfain yepLike I would literally move to Dubai for a good working opportunity and I just can't find anything.I'm a super smart, hard working dude and I can't get a call back for an interview on any job I apply for. Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―@mike_audette ha, me too@AdamSinger gross.Wow, that @StephenAtHome finale was awesome. So many great guests singing.
12/22
2014
What an asshole http://t.co/Mo33ipIjjd@demonsforkem "slaves forgot the value and experience they got on plantation once they were freed".All my fantasy playoff hopes and dreams shit all over the bed today. Too much...just too much. Let's have a Seahawks win at least.Oh my. RT @_youhadonejob: He's got a what? http://t.co/QAkJag3VxR
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin😳 β€œ@SportsTalkJoe: Andrew Luck is still a better QB than Russell Wilson, I don't understand how you can think otherwise.”Every player on every team is shitting the bed for my fantasy hopes today@talktoskirt he got the message on 12-4...but then h lost the message 2 days later Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―@blakegriffin32 has a message for you Husky fans. #GoDawgs #GoClips http://t.co/cG5xyUQAtc
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin
12/21
2014
@davidjchie yeah I'm trying to only do long term- I just lose money when I try to flip@davidjchie no- still a good buy? I thought I missed itThere are at least 17 attractive women in this bar- but they all work hereOk so now I want to get a job in Dubai and chase the American Dream outside of America.@EricStangel with a walker and everything 😳Probs $SRPT obviously β€œ@CNBC: Jim Cramer's top stock for 2015 Β» http://t.co/9EhGqXr0Ih http://t.co/EtWeegCBeB”@TMmeditation yep!@faceblind @CNBC I was thinking the same thing. Retiring at 40 sounds horribly boring@michelematuro I bet it had its ups and downs...😜
12/20
2014
[in Walmart] "Excuse me, do you have towels?" "Oh, I don't work here." [leans in close] "I don't give a shit where you work."
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@jimrome looks like Manziel@JoeVeyera plus they look decent anyway...Compilation video of people getting puppies as a present and freaking out. http://t.co/wbsSVzKknW Cc @darth
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@PeteCarroll ridin dirty
12/19
2014
Well I'm pretty sure Catherine Crump can choke on a bag of dicksVery busy solving crimes http://t.co/3Kf7UaS6nT
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@JaredStanger can we please not draft a WR in the first/second round?@VivianSapphire in the end I often wonder if that very fact is an indictment on the whole religionThe next step is to send Rogen and Franco to N. Korea so they can apologize to Kim Jong-Un in person. And assassinate him.
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin
12/18
2014
@mccrabb_will lol@tonyfrompandora @Cheaptarts @SteveCarell lol I thought the same thing. NOW people get killed? Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―@KimJongUnLookin you should make one where he's looking at a screening of The Interview@talktoskirt skirts gone crazy! Hide yo kids, hide yo wives, hide yo husbands...@KISSFMSEATTLE @seattlechildren woot!!@InsideAmazon I'm trying! Give me an interview!@JoePequenoCBS5 @JasonLaCanfora but don't they know about the khakis?Hahahaha β€œ@AdamSchefter: To repeat and now confirmed: Bears starting QB Jimmy Clausen over Jay Cutler on Sunday vs. Detroit, per sources.”#TheInterview Is that all it takes - an anonymous threat and the numbers 911 - to throw free expression under the bus? #PussyNation
Retweeted by Jeffrey MaxinEither "The Interview" situation is the biggest story of the year, or it's the greatest planned hoax of all time.Horrywood rearned resson better not think about show movie. Ha ha ha rosers! #HollywoodNorthKorea
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@CheetahPizzas "jerk" is a funny way of referring to a man that has prison guards stomp on pregnant women until the fetus pops out their ass@MichelleDBeadle apparently allowing terrorists to control our lives, I guess Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―I love the local @RegalMovies theater, but if it's true they are pulling @TheInterview I will not be supporting them anymore. #cowards
12/17
2014
Probably ain't gonna happen but I would wholeheartedly approve of trading for Wil Myers...yes, even giving up Walker@thumpthump @SOHN too low IMHO@lizzwinstead what are these blowjobs you speak of? Also...help me into my onesie ok?@AdamAizer dude the podcast won't be the same without you- best of luck and thanks for the show you've done@given2tweet CG's most recent blood sugar results were leaked and it's causing the drop. #findthecure@AdamSinger I'm paying for cable TV for sports- what would you recommend as a better option??Sci-Fi author Neal Stephenson joins augmented reality startup Magic Leap as "Chief Futurist" http://t.co/lCspaIrMR5 http://t.co/rlbHfh1DWO
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@johnkeatley does this work? http://t.co/o1E49Z9hhH@MaioccoCSN @SteveSandmeyer Hawks fan here, and I agree- bad call@DrJamesCDobson well white for sure, and into plaid shirts and Khakis I'm guessing. And republican. And straight.
12/16
2014
@traderstewie yes...and its annoyingLucky $13 for $SRPT. It's all gravy from here gents!When you can't find your phone πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ https://t.co/uczd7Oa12Y
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@Edwerderespn no he wasn't. Where did you get that stat? It's just incorrect. He hit Kearse for 50 yds while getting nailed.Are flip flops okay to wear to the Maury Show if you have seats in the back?
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@JoeVeyera @UW_MBB and Upshaw has been huge for the inside game. Kemp ballin. NGW super.@JoeVeyera @UW_MBB this team has been fun to watch!
12/15
2014
You guys, I'm finally old enough to think Julia Roberts was always hot. It just hit me. Before I always sorta thought she was horsey@nachosarah what if he used a carrot or zucchini on you though?@DavisHsuSeattle Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―Niners playing with WAY more heart than the Hawks. Cmon guys!@msea1 Lemuel?Remember when I benched Jeremy Hill for Steven Jackson today? Yeah...good times.Everyone in Seattle is a Bills fan today
12/14
2014
One more Frank Sinatra letter--to LA Times, 1990: http://t.co/nkKKY5vDRe
Retweeted by Jeffrey Maxin@RickyHooper haha, true. Spoken like someone in advertising πŸ˜‰
12/13
2014
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